![]() ![]() Other times you might be bursting to speak and tell others what you think, why you think it, why your opinion or advice has merit, and what they should be doing, thinking, or considering. What would be the point of correcting the storyteller at this moment? Many times it's better to let some inaccuracies go, especially if they aren’t critical to the point of the story. Should you speak up or keep your mouth shut? At times like this you should ask yourself it it's really critical for other to know the exact information. You might be right, but do you need to show others up? Let's suppose one of your peers is talking about something funny that happened at the last board meeting and said there were 15 people present, when you KNOW there were only 13. Close your eyes and count to ten, or count to 100 if you need to! If that doesn’t work and an explosion of anger seems imminent, simply turn and walk away. When you find yourself on the edge of an angry confrontation, stop, shut your mouth, and back off. It’s when you’re angry that you are most likely to lash out at others in ways that are hurtful, and that can create longstanding resentment and build walls of distrust. It would only make you lose influence and it gives others too much control over you. But you should not… you cannot… you MUST NOT give in to the feelings. People will do and say things that will make you mad, yes, furious, fuming, even ferocious. It’s only natural that you would want to react in anger. This individual feels the need to quickly react to every situation. But this type of response only serves to make things worse.ģ situations when it's better to keep your mouth shut Instead they instinctively develop a knee jerk, reactionary leadership style. The best way to settle the matter is through silence, which leaves you much less open to further onslaughts.The reason so many young or inexperienced leaders (ok, and many not so young and experienced ones too) find themselves in deep water is that they have not learned to measure their words carefully. ![]() If someone is gratuitously attacking your character, it’s senseless to try to defend yourself or to sneer back at them. In most instances, you’re in no way obliged to respond to belligerent, non-constructive criticism. Ironically, your power in these situations comes from ignoring their rhetorical jabs. Internet snipers, for example, can hurt you only with your consent. Most third parties would grasp that you avoided reacting to someone else's comment not because their defamation was righteous but because what they said hardly warranted a response. The familiar expression, “I won’t dignify that with a response," applies here. When, out of hostility or malice, another person stridently attacks something you said or wrote, responding to their verbal venom may give their words an authority they hardly deserve. There’s no good reason to respond to anyone whose prime motive is to taunt you. ![]() It would dignify-or give credence to-some spiteful individual's degrading of you. If these individuals say or do something that bothers you, it’s generally best to try to overlook it and, internally, find a way to resolve your immediate frustrations with them rather than confronting them directly.Ħ. So it’s just foolish to say something that would only distress them and accentuate the differences between you. Other people's rigidity makes it virtually impossible for them to appreciate a differing viewpoint. Some people are kind, loyal, and supportive, but also quick to take offense and highly reactive to criticism. So there’s no good reason to risk alienating them by being more candid about, or negatively evaluative of, their behavior than they can handle emotionally. You may genuinely care about the person, or the relationship may be truly important to you (pragmatically or otherwise). It would likely offend someone, without having any realistic possibility either of resolving the situation or improving the relationship. I’d advise you not to respond to another person if. Following are eight instances in which you’d be a lot better off not responding (at least not right away) to provocations, despite the clear temptation to do so. ![]()
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